Dear Tony,

Allow me to start this email by first apologizing for disappearing for sometime, I honestly don't know what to say but that I am sorry. Although I am not sure what I would have had to say if I called you during the events that escalated in Lebanon. Would it be sorry we have our hands stained in the blood of those who lost loved ones or lost property or went through the devastation of seeing a country so beautiful turn back time? Would it be my condolences and sympathy? Would it be cheering the strength and greatness the people of Lebanon have shown? I honestly don't know, but it is sure a mix of all of this together.

It is hard to have seen all this unfold, and harder more since I can relate to names of places, and people in Lebanon. I always imagined that the sadness I usual feel was extensive, but now when I look back at how events happened in Iraq and my reaction then, with what it is now, I realize that it is so much different. Let alone the difference in magnitude of the competition, but it is the notion that you have a personal feel for these places and people.

I guess some of the activities that I have done lately have helped release some of the helplessness, but never the sadness. Maybe entertaining the Lebanese flag in my car and in any protest or public event helps show where I stand, but what does that really help those who lost lives and property. The one thing that I am sure has happened is the increase in my pity on the people of this land for the state they are in, and their acceptance to this pathetic state. Has all hope been lost that this might change. These events may have marked the death of nations. Nations definitely other than Lebanon, which I am sure will come back stronger and prettier. However, it is the death of us, arab nationalism and possibly any hope that tomorrow will be better.

I ask myself, although I know the answer up front, isn't the notion of lack of safety in your own home and town what terror is really about. How can the world have turned to such an evil place, when we are talking about the evolving of a civilization as we know it now? Civilized, well I am having my doubts about that.

On a more positive note I think that the Lebanese have yet again impressed. The strength rooted deep within the people of Lebanon is unmatched in any Middle Eastern country outside Lebanon and Palestine. This is contrary to the notion most people have about the Lebanese, but I think I have seen them on my visit and certainly seen them on TV and in Cairo and how these people can really handle all of this with strength. Let alone the feeling we have all shared towards the resistance movement and leadership in Lebanon. It has certainly dwarfed all the "leaders", or so they call them, in the Arab world. It also makes you feel how soft we are as people, and how if Egypt goes through a fraction of this experience it will collapse from within in no time. I raise my hat to those people who have left Lebanon feel proud and steadfast against this Tsunami of Terror. I raise my head, although with shyness, and claim that I personally relate to these people.

I had sent friends and acquaintance an idea to write their thoughts to the children of Lebanon and Palestine. I will end my email with a quote I wrote on one of these sheets with the feelings I had at the moment. The quote is in Arabic and it is

اللسان يعجز عن الكلمات، والقلب يفيض بالاحزان
وما بيدى الا ان ابعث اليكم بالدعوات ان يزول عنكم البلاء وان يزول عنا العجز
ونقول سوبا
ً "ستعود ياقدس وستعود ياهوى لبنان"

Yours Truly
Nayer


Although this email was directed initially to one Lebanese friend, I think I send it to all of those whom I know from Lebanon.

We need people who history will not remember

History is an amazing subject and it seems to be recurring. However, it fails to capture all the picture, especially with regards to change. As many people who have driven change, history remembers only people that have "captured the wave". However those who have created and stirred the wave go unremembered. We need so many of those these days to change the situation of our lives. Realizing this is not an easy task and we need means of making these people. How is the key question.

Open the newspaper in the Arab region and you will find the phrase "A historic moment" or a "historic statement" or the likes bombarding you. They are not historic. As a matter of fact there are not even moments. Unless you consider driving nations and people more and more into darkness as historic. We need something different something that can revive this nation. In recent history there are many who have made change, people like Salah Eldin, or Gamal Abdelnasser. You might agree or disagree with the outcomes they have created. Nonetheless, they have left a mark in history. However, prior to these individuals there were many who have made efforts to drive the final outcome, and many of them have gone unremembered. I was with a friend as going through the exercise of remember some of those in these two moments in time was challenging. We need many of those, and we need to create them.

I learned to ask a few key questions at anything, they are why, what, when and how. I add to that list when. Three of these questions are pretty straight forward and easy to answer. They are

Why: because of the miserable state we have become;
What: When need to drive change; and
When: NOW and if possible yesterday

The tough question is how. A question that needs to be addressed strongly and immediately. I don't think I have any immediate answer personally but I think that bringing this up is important. I would hope to hear from many how this can be possible to realize.

Self expression…..treat yourself to a good reason to go in no man's land

Well an email sparked an idea that I started to promote. The idea was basically to allow people to express themselves about current events in Lebanon and Palestine, through sending messages to the children of Lebanon and Palestine. I suggested that people hang up paper to allow people to write their messages directly to it.

Considering that I strongly believe that if you propose something be done, you should be the first to do it, I started a page at my office at the research centre. I put a sign saying "write a message to the children of Lebanon and Palestine, it might reach them". The paper remained blank for a day, since people were intimidated to be the first to write. So again, I decided to be first to write. So I wrote a message and left on Wednesday.

I was no show at the office till Monday. As my schedule started to unfold I decided that I would skip going to the office, that was until I got a phone call from my colleagues. They were describing a scene at work, and as much as I could understand it was about the piece of paper hanging in the office. I couldn't make much on the phone and since I was so curious I decided to jolly on to the office.

As I walked in I noticed that the paper has been taken down and there seemed to be a colleague discussing getting it back. Apparently one of the security in the building had seen it and requested it to go down. I had stayed, so he mentioned it to people in the management who reacted quickly. I guess I forgot to mention one thing here, in the sign directing people to self-expression I placed the flags of Palestine and Lebanon. I guess that is what really caught there eye . The department head got an indication he would be held responsible for it and hearing that he didn't call to take it down, he went to do this challenge himself.

They pointed out that this can cause you problems, that can reach to the level of "national security intervention". And if you are from Egypt you can imagine what that implies (if you are not and from the west, imagine and multiple it 100 folds. To make it easier, think Guntanumo and increase it an order of magnitude). The list to go would be the institute head, management, department chair, head of security and all who have signed other than me. Me, well that is another story, I was after all the head of the gang, and they get special treatment. "Nezam e7nah betou3 eloutobess". For non-Egyptian culture oriented people, that literally means "we are from the Bus" which was a movie of some people that happened to be in a bus and suspected to be "against national security" out of the blue.

So if I disappear then you know I am with "betou3 eloutobess" somewhere in no man's land. Self expression can have its ways in some parts of the world :)

The spur of the moment…..ended with a great feeling

I received an email from a friend proposing to meet-up, along with 30 some people I don't know at all. It was a different idea that was starting to become interesting. A comment one of the group summarized it all; "I look forward to meeting new people". The idea started to become extremely interesting as emails were exchanged to identify the location of this meeting. Amongst the suggestions was also to attend a music concert in Sakyat Elsawey in Zamalek. Due to the amount of support to attending the concert, the venue was Cilantro Zamalek.

The exchange of emails was overwhelming, and it showed that this is a interesting group of people. Although I must admit it made me feel a little old :) compared to the whole group. Along side this decision making effort, a few suggestions popped up. It started with the question of how people who are not acquainted might identify each other. Someone suggested wearing the same color, and I was going to suggest a red rose in the jacket, or the newspaper experience I had in Morocco, but thought it was too cheeky :). However, once someone made a suggestion to buy T-shirts in support of Lebanon that someone in the group knew about it was an easy decision from there. Ideas started to spring up suggesting that those joining the concert should wear it. As the number of participants interested in the group to purchase the T-shirts grew, I made a comment that we should make a stand and sell the shirts, to make some money for the coffee we are going to consume. It was intended as a joke, but it actually materialized, although not to get money for the coffee but to support Lebanon which was the original idea of the T-Shirts. I don't think that my comment was the reason for what happened, it had already been up there in the emails and it was inevitably coming. A suggestion to have the band wear the T-shirts, and then the idea to talk to the people at Sakeyet Elsawey to sell the shirts were springing up faster than my ability to read emails. It was all set.

I headed out to Cilantro to join this group, and initially I was expecting to be quick in and out. I wasn't sure I would fit in with the group, and the thought of attending the concert was definitely not in my mind at all. It ended so much differently. I actually found the group very interesting. The greatest thing about this group is the energy they have within them. It was very positive, and it can actually grow on you. As plans of selling shirts at the concert started to finalize I decided to join in and attend the concert. After the coffee and the introduction cycles that we frequently interrupted with new people joining, most of the group had changed into the T-shirt. The group walked to the concert.

Members of the group had made arrangements with the management at Saket Elsawey to sell the shirts and someone brought them along to the event. The management also supported the fundraising by donating the revenue of this concert and two others later in the week, which was a great start to begin with. The group was given a booth to sell them, and we hung up a poster identifying the activity. I also had been keen to hang posters in many places where people can write their thought to children of Lebanon and Palestine, although I was not optimistic that many would write I still hung one up next to the booth. The shirts started selling even before the concert started.

The concert was packed, and with all the heat it was starting to be demanding. However, it was still a great feeling to be part of this. The promise was that they would announce that the shirts were being sold in the concert. The promise never materialized, but it was not needed. The 100+ shirts on hand were sold out and there was a huge demand on them. They ended up as a great success. We collected over 3000LE in that concert towards the support of the people of Lebanon.

It was also noticeable that there were many Lebanese amongst the group. A group of Lebanese insisted to purchase the flag I had along with me. I sold it to them. I also chatted briefly with a young lady from the South of Lebanon, who managed to go out after almost 3 weeks of the war with her mother. The stories you hear are so moving, and the helplessness you generally feel grows. I was also speechless, on what to say in this situation. However, that night I was feeling that I have done something, very very very small, but something at least to Lebanon.

Some people wrote comments to the children of Lebanon and Palestine. Some of the comments were moving, and some were carried away with their feelings. I quote some of the comments

"I'm sorry I'm enjoying the beach & the cinema while you have to go through all of this. But you have dignity & I have you to look up to for the rest of my life"

"One day you will grow up and find PEACE PEACE….. & a better place to live. HAVE FAITH"

"ستعود ياهوة بيروت ..... ستعود ياهوة لبنان"

Although I heard a lot of names, and saw a lot of faces, I don't think I can match many of them yet; Although I didn't get to hear much of the concert, it was the first time for me to see the Wust Elbalad band, because of the noise; It was a great day that ended making me feeling much better as a human. I also think that I am going ahead feeling that change is possible, if people allow themselves to believe in themselves. And it all happened at the spur of the moment.

The 40 of the Arabs

Well I was sitting with a friend who had a very amusing comment about the title of the blog. He said it is interesting that I used "Around the Middle East in 40 Days", with a little twist it can be fitting to the current situation. We can call it the "40" (Alarba3een) of the Middle east (Which is the reference to remembering lost ones after 40 days of their death) before the birth of the New Middle East as Condi calls it.

Is it Syria next?

Recent statements by Bush sound so similar to those I heard in 2001. Although the players at the time were different, but Iraq was placed, out of context, in the statements then and the blame was put in them, and now where are we? 3 years into the invasion of Iraq, and total devistation in a great country. Now Syria is also put in a statement out of context, and suddenly it is blamed for no obvious reason. Will we see Syria being target like Iraq in the near future?

All in all, I think the "civilized" world is pointing fingers in the wrong direction. Blaming the wrong people and avoiding blaming themselves and the really evils of this world. It will only mean more trouble and more problems.

Resistance all the way

I am personally not a fan of Hizballah, and always though of violence as the way of the weak. As humans, we should have the ability to understand and communicate and reach a "civilized" agreement (although I am having my doubts now about civilized when it is associated with nations that have no human feelings). However, as events unfold I find myself supporting the only choice left which is resistance, resistance to bullying, and unfairness. Resistance seems to be presenting itself as the only way to fight the feeling of deprival and helplessness that nations have felt for so long. Hizballah has successfully defeated Isreal in Lebanon in 2000 and continues to present itself as the only positive in recent years.

I am disappointed with myself being in Egypt now

I have been disappointed with myself for thinking about the football game early next week as I watch the news about Lebanon, how have I turned to be so sallow and selfish. What can we do as individuals to help in this situations. Waiting for governments to act will be a stupid choice really. We need to come up with ideas. Personally I will be planning a trip once the roads are back and Lebanon is accessible once more to do anything to help. Until then there must be something we can do, other then simple notions of protest. Even that simple activity has not happened and people seem to be focusing on their tan rather than their lives here. It is disappointing to say the least.

LEBANON ALL THE WAY I wished to be there now

Just simply watching the news as it develops is very saddening. Even more now since I can relate to places and people in Lebanon. As a matter of fact I am so disappointed that I am in Egypt now and not there. The helplessness I feel to do anything makes me hoping I was there, at least to show solidarity with the Lebanese people at this stage. The Lebanese are always stereotyped as soft people, but after meeting them I have different views on them. They are tough people and have gone through so much in recent history that I am sure will make them emerge out of this stronger people, despite being left alone by all the "neighboring" countries (some of which I hope would shut up rather than talk absurdly). The bombing currently bringing Lebanon many years behind is unacceptable on any front. As usual the world is turning a blind eye and politics are taking a biased view, which is expected in this unfair world.